re: Things look bleak online
Just read the following excerpt from this post:
And today some BlueSky personality apparently got his tires slashed and the implications seem to be that it's over some kind of internet feud, and it makes me think, wow, do I even want to be on sites with everyone else and communicating? Why bother in the first place?
This immediately got my gears turning.
As I have shared with many of you here on Bear Blog, back in late 2023 I had enough of my social media addiction. I had spent years trying all kinds of methods to “moderate” my consumption, but all of them failed. I concluded that social media is to me what booze is to an alcoholic: Nothing but complete abstinence will keep me safe from getting drunk and ruining my life.
I fully deleted (a process that took me almost a month) my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok accounts. Then, I made a resolution to not return to them for all of 2024.
Guess what happened? The transformation that I experienced in my life was so insanely positive, that I decided that I would never return to those platforms, ever. It also turned out that I... never needed them for anything. Their absence from my life has only had positive effects on it.
However, I didn’t have anywhere else to go at that time other than the Internet yet, so I ended up on Substack. That platform defined the year 2024 for me.
In early 2025, unsatisfied with the direction that Substack was going, towards basically becoming another cesspool of algorithm-driven slop, I began to browse around for alternatives, and found Bear Blog, but I digress...
In the years that have passed since, I too have come across stories where what someone said online got them in trouble with the wrong crowd, ending up “cancelled” at best, and outright unalived at worst. I think that getting one’s tires slashed is maybe somewhere in that spectrum.
I had the experience of losing friends to meaningless debates on Facebook all the way back in the early 2010s, so Internet drama spilling over into real life wasn’t exactly new for me, but the severity of these incidents began to increase at an alarming rate and I started to worry.
You see, I have been trying to become “famous on the Internet” since at least 2004, when at most, you could be a big-name admin of a large forum. In my teens, as soon as I became aware that the Internet was a vehicle for drawing the attention of the masses from the comfort of my bedroom, I craved that kind of notoriety.
I’ve tried everything since: websites, blogging, video, in all kinds of niches. I’ve been trying to become a “content creator” before YouTube and Facebook even were a thing. The thought of being able to air out my opinions, use my creativity, get somehow paid for it, and do it all from my desk, just seemed too alluring to give up on. I only felt more inclined to pursue that goal as social media made it easier for me to compare my online “success” (or lack thereof) with that of others.
The greatest of my “achievements” in this regard was a Discord server that I grew to 3,000 or so members before I got tired of it and passed the ownership off to a mod. Story of my life. I never stuck with anything for very long. I digress yet again though...
When I explain to you how I used to feel about wanting to be famous on the Internet, I feel pathetic for it, but that’s who I was. However, quitting social media, not being exposed to that idea of wanting to become famous online, not comparing myself to others all the time, and watching public Internet figures have their lives ruined or even taken because of what they have said, began to slowly make me think that...
...maybe it’s a good thing that I’m not famous on the Internet.
All this came to my mind when I read that excerpt. It’s yet another example of how it just isn’t safe anymore to speak one’s mind online with one’s full government name on display.
There is a problem though, and it’s pointed out by the author of that post in the next paragraph:
I should do something else with my life but I'm not sure what. The internet has been a stopgap from the creeping unreality of life for a long time and I am simply unsure where to go from here. All the normal things one would usually rely on just seem hollowed out from looting to the point that there's nothing left but a facade.
The Internet, and some of the communities that I have built/been a part of on it, has become such an integral part of my life, that I haven’t been able to completely log off. I still use Discord (though I’m on only five servers), and I still occasionally watch YouTube videos from select channels. (Thankfully, for some reason, I find it trivial to moderate how much time I spend on those platforms.)
I also still crave a space where I can freely share with the world what’s on my mind, because keeping it all in somehow makes me feel like a boiler that is building up too much pressure but doesn’t have a release valve. I have found that Bear Blog works best to fulfill this need of mine. I doubt that I’ll ever become “famous on the Internet” for anything that I publish here, so that thought is also comforting. It reduces the pressure. I post for the sake of it, not to chase the algorithm or some trend.
I have, however, gone out to find other replacements.
Reading books has become my most persistent and beloved hobbies. I’ve been devouring them since 2024. Recently I also got more into exercising, which I’ve really been struggling to make a habit over the years. I also want to become more skilled in the kitchen, since cooking my own food is a great way to stay healthy and also gift something meaningful to my friends on occasion.
Speaking of friends, the most important of these replacements is my local church, where I meet them on a weekly basis. We also spend time together outside of the worship services.
Maybe churches aren’t exactly your thing, but hard as it may be, I think that it is still necessary for all of us to find a real-life community to become a part of. It used to be our villages. Then it became your group of school friends or a club. These days it’s mostly online communities, but I believe that digital companionship will never be able to replace that of flesh and blood.